Shoulder: God, I hurt. Remind me not to hook-shot empty water bottles into the recycling.

Index finger: Try clicking a mouse 350 times a day. Then we’ll talk.

Neck: Oh, yeah? I’ve been supporting twelve pounds of dead weight for decades now.

Brain: Gee, thanks.

Neck: Oops. We thought you were asleep. But now that you’re up … dude, you gotta help us out. We’re dying here. Ever thought about acupuncture?

Brain: Nope. Too expensive.

Finger: Not at the New England School of Acupuncture. They have a student clinic where an hour-long appointment is only $30 — $20 for college students. And after assessing your individual needs, your intern will apply whatever Eastern techniques he or she thinks works best — even Eastern massage!

(Collective cheer!)

Brain: Not. so. loud.

Shoulder: Sheesh. Might want to have those migraines looked at while we’re there.

Brain: Now that’s putting a head in the game.